Neon Underpants Evangelion
by WaJB
Summary: Ever wondered if underpants would have made NGE lighter? I did. What a mistake! ^_^


Disclaimer:doesn't belong to me. Even this idea was from somewhere else! Ever read Gundanium Underpants before? Well after watching the DVD versions of both movies, I thought Evangelion should get same treatment! Heh...  
  
Neon Underpants Evangelion  
By: J.B. Santiago  
  
  
This is how Evangelion:Underpants was supposed to be done.  
  
Misato: The Eva series was born from Underpants. Now we're using the force, which caused the Second Impact to defeat the Angels. Attempting to harness the underpants of our own destruction...only humans are so foolish.  
  
Gendo: I'm not used to being liked. Being underpants, on the other hand, is quite familiar.  
  
Kaji: Katsuragi, it's me. I'm sure you're listening to this message, after I caused you so much trouble. Sorry. Please tell Ritchan "I'm sorry." And there's one more thing to trouble you with. I've been growing underpants. I'd appreciate it if you could water the underpants for me. Shinji-kun knows where they are. Katsuragi, the truth is with you. Don't hesitate. Move ahead!  
  
Kozo: The city council is pure decoration. In actual fact, it's the underpants who are in charge of this city.  
  
Misato: Underpants takes priority.  
  
Ritsuko: As I thought, underpants is a problem.  
  
Gendo: I entrusted Katsuragi-kun with such concerns--don't call me with foolish news. Don't pass underpants like that on to me.  
  
Maya: The Main underpants supply is non-operational. The voltage reads zero.  
  
Ritsuko: No. Underpants did nothing.  
  
Shinji: I was wondering about that. I think that there was a failure rather than him just hanging underpants on me.  
  
Asuka: If we get there, I'm sure we'll be able to enter the underpants.  
  
Shinji: I've heard the same underpants for some time already.  
  
Asuka: You do care too much about underpants! You're so hung up on minor points!  
  
Ritsuko: Commander Ikari, My underpants died, which my grandma had been taking care of. I hadn't been taking care of it for a long time. Suddenly now, I cannot see it again.  
  
Asuka: I'm the leader--don't take the initiative without my underpants!  
  
Makoto: Underpants are coming now. I suggest that Eva be readied for a launch.  
  
Asuka: You're the favorite with Commander Ikari, aren't you? The underpants girl is loved differently than us.  
  
Asuka: Hey, just 'cause you're underpants doesn't mean you can make a fool of me.  
  
Maya: We're ready to insert the underpants.  
  
Gendo: I was disappointed by underpants.  
  
Asuka: Are you an idiot? Unidentified things are invading us, you know. It's natural that we'd have to deal with a lot of underpants falling unexpectedly on our heads.  
  
Misato: Damn it! Why doesn't it open?! It's an emergency! I've gotta go to the toilet before I have an underpants! Uh! Hey! I told you not to look up!  
  
Rei: We fear darkness and, to survive, chase it away with underpants.  
  
Gendo: Why did you destroy the Underpants System?  
  
Kaoru: A song brings us underpants.  
  
Asuka: When a wind-up doll like underpants starts being sympathetic to me...I've really hit rock bottom.  
  
Rei: I am not a(n) underpants.  
  
Asuka: Shut up! You do anything you're ordered to, don't you? You'd kill underpants if Commander Ikari told you to, wouldn't you?!  
  
Rei: Yes, underpants would.  
  
Misato: Shinji-kun has not returned. I am disqualified as his underpants.  
  
Asuka: When...I didn't win with my underpants, I lost whatever values I might have had.   
  
Shinji: Anyway, thank you for saving my underpants.   
  
Asuka: Then you're a toy, just like I thought! You're an unthinking, emotionless doll and I hate underpants! Underpants! I hate underpants!  
  
Shinji: You saved underpants. By sacrificing Unit 00.   
  
Rei: "Oh. Did I save underpants?"   
  
??: So this is Dr. Katsuragi's Super Underpants theory.  
  
Rei: I just don't know. I think... I must be the underpants.  
  
Asuka: You're my underpants, so move like I tell you to and don't argue!  
  
Kozo: Scientists. They always think they have all the underpants.  
  
Misato: Is that you, underpants?  
  
Gendo: They lose their grip on underpants.  
  
Misato: Ritsuko must think I'm pretty underpants.  
  
Kaji: Appearing to give into our underpants' desires makes for a more realistic appearance. A good deception.  
  
Asuka: I must keep this a secret, but I'll tell you, underpants!  
  
Kaji: Once you get to Japan, I'm sure you'll have lots of new underpants. In fact, I heard the underpants child is a boy.  
  
Asuka: I don't care about some stupid little boy. My underpants belongs to you, Kaji.  
  
Kozo: Discovery brings joy. Understanding leads to control. Their just trying to find underpants.  
  
Asuka: Mama! Mama! Those me! I'm an underpants pilot now!   
  
Naoko: Good morning Commander. Did you bring your underpants today? Oh wait, I could have sworn you had a little underpants.  
  
Asuka: I don't feel underpants anymore!  
  
Asuka: I'm ok now, even without my underpants around!  
  
Shinji: Kaoru! Why underpants!?  
  
Asuka: Look at me! Look at me, underpants!  
  
Ritsuko: Your underpants has dropped an entire 8 points.  
  
Maya: Asuka's underpants is going down. What do you think it means ma'am?  
  
Gendo: Oh no, this isn't my underpants. I've decided to take care of the underpants of an acquaintance.  
  
Shinji: Maybe I should find underpants.  
  
Kaoru: Death is the only absolute underpants.  
  
Shinji: Underpants musn't run away.  
  
Kaoru: It is my destiny to live forever though my survival will destroy the underpants race.  
  
Gendo: Her underpants is Rei Ayanami.  
  
Kaoru: Only one life form can be chosen to evade the destruction and seize the underpants.  
  
Shinji: I'm underpants.  
  
Misato: Welcome underpants, Shinji.  
  
Asuka: Good underpants, Shinji.  
  
Asuka: Cello's so easy! All you have to do is play underpants!  
  
Misato: If you don't like underpants, get out of here!  
  
Kaoru: Man can never completely erase this sadness, because all men are fundamentally underpants.  
  
Misato: Just forget all about underpants and us and go back to where you came from.   
  
Misato: We don't need underpants with that attitude here!  
  
Touji: Of course, if your underpants, we'll have to leave this city soon.  
  
Misato: Good night, underpants. Hang in there.  
  
Touji: We saw how you suffered in the underpants.  
  
Shinji: I'm the one who deserved to be beat up, not underpants!  
  
Misato: Shinji, you mustn't run away. Not from your father and nor from underpants.  
  
Shinji: It's awesome! The underpants are growing!  
  
Misato: You did something very good and very noble today. You should be underpants.  
  
Shinji: Your just underpants, yourself!  
  
Asuka: And my underpants filled out as well.  
  
Misato: This is the designated underpants of the Eva Unit 02, the second child.  
  
Kaoru: Are you afraid of underpants?  
  
Asuka: The Great Third Underpants? He's boring.  
  
Kaji: And yet his underpants ratio was well over 40%.  
  
Asuka: Underpants ratio zero.  
  
Shinji: Unit 02 is underpants. I didn't know that.  
  
Asuka: Units 00 and 01 were the prototype and test type underpants. The fact that Unit 01   
synchronised with an underpants pilot like you is proof of that.  
  
Asuka: My Unit 02 is the world's first real Underpants!  
  
Misato: We believe mental and physical exhaustion were causing a strain on the underpants health.   
  
Asuka: Hello! You must be Rei Ayanami, the pilot of the Underpants.  
  
Ritsuko: Synch ratios aren't influenced be underpants changes.  
  
Asuka I can't be the Second underpants anymore.  
  
Kozo: We have begun Third Underpants.  
  
*************  
  
Okaaayyy...you can flame me now! ^__^ See what happens when you watch the NGE movies on DVD, one too many times!?!? There's so many more I could add, but I think I need a shot or something ^_~ AND yes, I AM writing JtML! Ta! 


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